you need to let your hands hear your cheer

I got five draft blogs saved in my computer, for some reasons I can’t put into words what my mind speaks of, maybe some words are really better left unspoken.  I am scared that I might not be able to write something sensible again.  I am scared that I might not finish this again. I am scared that I might not have enough thoughts to support the sentences that I am trying to write now again.  But at the back of my mind, my cheerleader alter ego is rooting for me to finish this “kaya mo yan…sulat lang ng sulat”.  I often tell my friends that I write when I have some emotional burdens bugging me but that was before.

I came to realize that writing should not just be for emotional outburst but I must try to at least inspire people as they read my pieces. I share myself bit by bit with every blog entry. Today, my fingernail; tomorrow, my hair.  So let me tell you a happy “writing” story.

Ever since I was a kid, I was keeping diaries and dedication notebooks. I wrote letters, thanks to my Dad who encourage me to write loooooong letters. Writing found me, actually my Grade 4 teacher, Teacher Aydee when I signed up for English club, discovered me. “Hmm pwede.” She asked me and a few of my classmates to write an essay. I forgot what it was about and I got in. Writing for the school paper gave me my first out of “our” school competition. I can still remember that day when I won 5thplace for News Writing in the District – Hunger games ang peg.  And I was qualified for the regionals.

The school paper paved the way for my unrequited love of writing.  That writing experience gave me the guiding light of which career I want to pursue.  I really wanted to be a doctor but I know myself and I got scared “what if one day tamarin ako?” I also wanted to be a lawyer. I want that “matalino” stance that lawyers exude. But my mom told me that there will be times that I have to bend the truth so I told her if it’s okay with her if I’ll just be an artista yun talaga un.  So I took up DevCom in UPLB and took DevJourn as my major I got a feeling that time that it can be a stepping stone to (ahem!) stardom.  Kidding aside, after many months of waiting after the exam I got an interview with Manila Bulletin. This is it? Nope. I got an interview with Manila Bulletin a day after I signed my contract with Robinsons Land Corporation. But I went to the interview just to test the waters. I was so happy. Going to Intramuros was a like a field trip. The smell of newspaper lingered through the hallways. Seeing people wearing “press” ID seemed like a medal. I passed the interviews and was scheduled for the final interview. Then I passed the final interview and got a job offer.

But they didn’t give me the offer I can’t refuse. After that, the path of my career went to a different direction but still I am thankful because even if I don’t write as much I was able to hone other God given talents.  If we love doing something the passion for that thing don’t just fade away.

So where’s the happy “writing” story? If you’re scrutinizing where is it…well It’s written here in my blogsite and other pieces of papers and notebooks that I wrote upon.

My cheerleader alter ego won this time.

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