I am learning more about myself these days and writing really helps me with this process. Birthdays come with fear certain fear. You know, the realization that another year has come and gone and you still haven’t found what you want most in life. I won’t bore you with another review of all that is wrong with me because honestly a few things happened that opened my eyes to all that is right. So here is my birthday thought: not every year is a banner year. Not every day is perfect. Not every moment you will be at your best all around peak one way or another. And guess what? THAT IS FINE. It’s the human condition, to want to grow and change and evolve and to do so you have to be dissatisfied with SOMETHING or you’d sit there and do nothing. I was lost then found then wandered off, returned, lost again and finally found again.
And now that I am found again, I want to share with you what are the things that I want to focus on this year for me to grow..change for the better and evolve into someone better. I want 2013 to be my better year and 2014 to be better than may 2013 and it goes on blah blah blah.
I want to be a saver. Pera pera lang yan. But yes ang hirap kaya magkaroon ng savings. I can say that even if I am working abroad I barely save enough money for future use. At least 10% monthly won’t hurt me (I think). I’ve decided to cancel the gym membership I got idadaan ko nalang sa dasal ung abs na pinapangarap ko :)
I want to enhance the artsy crafty side of me. I want to learn more about the basics of designs and using different mediums in making artwork (think: oil painting!) it relaxes the mind and it soothes the soul. I want to bring back the Abi who loves writing letters and reading books :)
I want to have a stronger prayer life.
I want inspire other people to, at least, learn to find happiness everywhere even in small things.I am praying and hoping that this year I can inspire other people to be better and to do better. I know that I am not perfect, I have flaws, bad ideas, mood swings and maldita moves – that’s me, but it doesn’t mean that I cannot be better and that I cannot touch someone’s life. It’s up to people around me to see me either as good or bad example. I can never and will never impose anything to anyone.
I want to focus more on my parents – our family. We are growing old and they are getting older as well. It makes me sad not to be with them during special moments but every day that we are far from each other means another day to being closer together again.
I want to be my best happy self. I’ll be lying if I’ll tell you that I am happy 24/7, of course not, I have unforgiveable topak moments just like everyone else but come on let’s give each other room for bad days. (But I think we should limit that to once a month meron at meron kasing abuso.) Being my happy self meaning finding joys in small things and learning and practicing the tedious “art of pangdededma ng mga walang kwenta” I am self confessed emotera and I can make a fuss out of nothing if I want to, so I want “that” out of the ageing me.
I want to see some improvements in my life – life in general. Small positive changes can result to more positive vibes. Not every year is a good year but a not so-happy year should push all of us to make other years better.
And this year will be better.