When you’re single for a quite some time, you imagine being in a relationship and you imagine the person you’ll be in a relationship. You look at your friends’ relationships and you think about how you’d react to their circumstances, what you would’ve said in that instance, how you would’ve responded. You feel like you’re going to be completely rational, levelheaded, calm, and laid back. You won’t have a bunch of unrealistic expectations. You will be so understanding. You won’t be one of those girls who are unreasonable and nagging and always upset about something.
And then you meet someone. And you start trying out this ‘relationship’ thing. And you realize that an adult relationship is very very different than a puppy love, ultimate crush or college fling or anything else you’ve experienced before. You start to realize what a balance it is. You start learning that sometimes you need to speak up and sometimes you need to let it go. But the problem is, you don’t always choose wisely. Sometimes you hold things in when really they should just be said and sometimes you get aggravated about something that’s not really a big deal (probably because you’re holding something else in). And you start to worry you’re becoming that person you told yourself you’d never be.
You start to realize that relationships really are work. Even when you adore the person and the two of you click and things are good. There’s still so. much. work. to be done.
Then you will realize that learning this balance is going to take awhile and you hope that you both have the patience to hold on.
And this…will always be easier said than done.