For almost four years of togetherness, Tags and I are still adjusting and amazingly still learning a lot of new things about each other. Through time we were able to discover tiny details about each other – sometimes we didn’t even know about it ourselves not until one of us notices (Johari’s window ?) and say something about it. Like any other relationships we went through a lot of challenges and difficulties in the beginning of our journey together and we are surviving *high five*…
Through time we were able to have our own couple dynamics that until now we were able to practice. I am happy to share the same thoughts and goals with my husband. Although we are still far from the plans that we have, I can say that there’s progress year after year.
We never lose communication. Calling each other during break time. Updating each other about our day, plans, meetings and whereabouts. We don’t have the opportunity to miss each other. For us having a good line of communication is the best way to work on our marriage. If we have problems and issues we say it. We know that keeping it will cause more damage so instead talk about it and come up with a solution.
Don’t forget occasions.
I am a self-confessed clingy, cheesy and sentimental person. Every occasion counts. Birthdays. Anniversary as bf/gf. Engagement. Anniversary as husband and wife and the list goes on. Like what I always say – we don’t have to splurge on lavish gifts and expensive dinner dates. Tags never missed a month – flowers and letters – as promised. Acknowledging life’s special moments is more than enough. You just have to show and tell your partner that you remembered.
Our family is our priority. We always see to it that we put our family first over anything else. Now that we have our kid – we want her to grow in an environment wherein family should always be on top. I often tell Tags that he can go out with his friends from time to time but he always choose to be with us. His reason is very simple – he is at work for long hours and his time with us is very limited so he’d rather stay with us than spend his free time with his friends. I am glad that he got this mind set and that I don’t have to remind him of his priorities because he already know.
Money. Usually caused trouble in many families, either too much or lack of it. From the beginning of our relationship this was already cleared – what’s his is mine and what’s mine is mine… nope…just kidding. I told him that I didn’t marry him for money… I can earn my own money… I just need his loyalty haha! We already sort it out. All of our expenses – weekly, monthly and yearly are accounted for. I am his wife. I need to help him although he is the one providing for us. Major expenses are his responsibilities. Minor things I am handling. Usually the minor things are the wants. When it comes to managing the finances I am responsible for it – savings included.
Take care of yourself.
Some might say that having a good heart is what matters. Yes..they are right!I believe in that too… BUT Physical attraction will always be a factor. No matter how hard they try to say that it does not matter – IT MATTERS. Taking care of yourself is a must… specially if you’re married. My mom told me, that now that I have my own family I have to improve myself more and see to it that the attraction is still there. This advice is not just for wives but for husbands too. Not because you’re already married you’re just going to let go of yourself. Our spouses even without saying a word will always be proud to be seen with someone presentable. So…
Care and Support
Don’t make the person you love feel alone specially when you’re there. Aside from taking care of yourself – you have to nurture your spouse and kids welfare too. I encourage Tags to join different extracurricular activities – chorale is one. I want him to still develop as an individual. Tags is very supportive of me too. When I told him that I want to try baking – he bought me – baking equipment, ingredients and things needed (and not needed) for baking – and whatever it is that I made for him… he eats it too. :) Every morning before going to work Tags prepares a sandwich for me and I really appreciate that gesture.There are tons of ways that we can give care and show support to our spouses. Little things matter.
To each his own. I just shared some details of the things we do for each other to nourish our relationship as husband and wife. Each couple have their own dynamics that works for them and there’s no right or wrong way.
The main goal is to enrich our marriage and spread the love.