{Inspirational Tuesday} Just start.

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3c113dda42fcedf736e64a35ee338ee9Have you been in a situation that your life just stopped? Those moments where you’re in between crying and smiling? A time where you unsure of where to go and what to do? An instance when you feel like giving up but you know inside you that you cannot?

Taking a step, backward or forward, is still a start. You are still breathing while reading this so why not begin today and start doing what will make you happy, what you think is good for you and what will give your heart – peace.

Just start.

 

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Why do I (still) write?

When I was younger (elementary to high school) I kept a number of notebooks that served as my journal. I wrote what happened to me during the day. Tiny details of what made me happy and excited, sad and angry during the day. Basically, it was a narrative of what happened to me and what were my thoughts about it. Some of them were stupid but some of them taught me lessons. That’s the reason why I never forget details and events that happened to me even after so many years.

I love how my handwriting changed through time and how my thoughts evolved from a girl writing about her crush to a woman writing about her aspirations and frustrations about her life everyday. Through writing I was able to see the difference of my perception about life. I was able to face reality about love and importance of family. Writing helped me discover my weaknesses and strengths that I have.

I write because it is my way of self expression. This is where I can freely express my thoughts and emotions. I can write about love and hate without even directly addressing anyone. It is the outlet of my expressions. I write when I cannot think. I write when my head is filled with ideas. I write because I am bored. I write because I am hyper and full of energy. I write my tears and frustrations most of the time. Writing is therapeutic for me. I consider this better than eating my feelings.

I don’t write because I want to impress someone. I don’t write because someone asked me. I don’t write because I have lots of time. I write because every time I write I discover a lot of things about me.

and when I lost myself – writing helped me find ME again.

Pieces of advice to those younger than me :)

2016 – I survived the challenges of being a working mom and a wife and other responsibilities in between that. I don’t know what 2017 will be for me and for my family but I am on high hopes and prayers that it will be filled with laughter and blessings.  Ever since I got married and Ellie was born, a lot of things happened and changed. Most of them I am still getting used to and some I need to have major adjustments.

I am 31.As I look back, I already achieved majority of the items listed on my bucket list. I just realized that since I did some of it already, there are items on list that I can no longer do.So while you are still young and single, maybe you can pick something from the list of advices below. These things are based on my experiences and my regrets and my life goals.

1)Don’t wait for tomorrow to work on your plans. Do it while you still have the energy to do so. Procrastination sometimes help – but take note on the word “sometimes”.

2)Travel. I am working overseas but still I wasn’t able to do this a lot. I don’t know but I think this was not really my priority during my younger years. My mistake.

3)Collect experiences. Experiences are priceless (some might cost a lot.. but still…) Once you did something like sky diving or swimming with whales or mountain trekking it will be always be part of yourself and nobody can take that from you.

4)Read a lot of books. It can help you improve your thoughts,it can bring new ideas and it can improve your vocabulary and grammar. It will help you a lot.

5)Focus on developing your talents. Your talents can be your career. It can be your stepping stone to earning money or simply getting what you want.

6)Find a job that you will enjoy-while you are still young, you can still explore. Salary might be not as much but if you love what you’re doing sooner or later you will get the pay that you deserve.

7) Explore different hobbies. Try baking – cooking – painting or photography :) It will give you things to do during your free time. Find activities worth doing rather than binge watching tv series. Trust me when you get older and your knees and hands are no longer as powerful as they were you’ll have a lot of time to watch TV series or just sit around or lie somewhere.

8)Write your thoughts. 

9)Save money. Remember the fable, The Ant and the Grasshopper? Saving for the rainy days matters.You will never know when the rain will begin to pour, so better be ready rather than caught unaware. Money matters and that’s the truth.

10)Find the balance between personal and social life and technology. Spend time with your family, your siblings, colleagues and friends. Social life is not social media. Spend at least a day without mobile phones or Facebook and snapchat or at least don’t look or avoid checking your tablets and mobile phones when you’re with them. It really makes a difference.

I am not even close to perfection. I still don’t have “it” together. I am still working on improving different facets of my life that sometimes I don’t have a single clue of where should I begin. Sometimes I am still wondering if I am still young for this? OR I am too late to do it? It confuses me a lot but I am grateful that I still have goals to focus on and like what everybody says…better late than never.

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We protect the people we love.

Relationships are hard work. You need to invest and give attention to it. You have to nurture and make time for it.  Our partners are heaven sent because at one point in our lives we prayed for them. We prayed for the relationship to happen.

We highlight them in our stories. We told them the wonderful things that they do for us. How great they are and how positive life is whenever we are with them. All the happy things, everything bright and sunshiney. We drowned other people of the happiness we have  or maybe just kept quiet about it. We protect the people we love.

Everyone is close to perfection until you or they were out of the relationship. I admire our human capacity to close our eyes to flaws and short-comings of our partners. Are we blinded by love? Or are we just scared to see the truth that we cannot accept? I am amazed on how we can just let the issues pass and make everything okay because we don’t want our relationship to be tainted with arguments and petty fights. We persevere amidst the issues. We protect whatever it is that we have because we think that this might be the last.

That’s the thing – this is usually the root of it all. The root of abuse and the start of us fading away into the relationship we thought is good for us. We are so scared of losing the  feeling of being loved or wanted or we are just simply scared of losing.

The truth is ,that’s how we do it.We protect the people we love as much as we can until we can no longer take it. We protect the people we love until we no longer love them. We protect the people we love until they hurt us. We protect the people we love until they walked away and left us broken.

We protect the people we love,until they cross the line.