love x couple habits x marriage

For almost four years of togetherness, Tags and I are still adjusting and amazingly still learning a lot of new things about each other. Through time we were able to discover tiny details about each other – sometimes we didn’t even know about it ourselves not until one of us notices (Johari’s window ?) and say something about it.  Like any other relationships we went through a lot of challenges and difficulties in the beginning of our journey together and we are surviving *high five*…

Through time we were able to have our own couple dynamics that until now we were able to practice. I am happy to share the same thoughts and goals with my husband. Although we are still far from the plans that we have, I can say that there’s progress year after year.

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Communication

We never lose communication. Calling each other during break time. Updating each other about our day, plans, meetings and whereabouts. We don’t have the opportunity to miss each other. For us having a good line of communication is the best way to work on our marriage. If we have problems and issues we say it. We know that keeping it will cause more damage so instead talk about it and come up with a solution. 

Don’t forget occasions.  

I am a self-confessed clingy, cheesy and sentimental person. Every occasion counts. Birthdays. Anniversary as bf/gf. Engagement. Anniversary as husband and wife and the list goes on. Like what I always say – we don’t have to splurge on lavish gifts and expensive dinner dates. Tags never missed a month – flowers and letters – as promised. Acknowledging life’s special moments is more than enough. You just have to show and tell your partner that you remembered. 

Family first.

Our family is our priority. We always see to it that we put our family first over anything else. Now that we have our kid – we want her to grow in an environment wherein family should always be on top. I often tell Tags that he can go out with his friends from time to time but he always choose to be with us. His reason is very simple – he is at work for long hours and his time with us is very limited so he’d rather stay with us than spend his free time with his friends. I am glad that he got this mind set and that I don’t have to remind him of his priorities because he already know. 

Managing Finances.

Money. Usually caused trouble in many families, either too much or lack of it. From the beginning of our relationship this was already cleared – what’s his is mine and what’s mine is mine… nope…just kidding. I told  him that I didn’t marry him for money… I can earn my own money… I just need his loyalty haha!  We already sort it out. All of our expenses – weekly, monthly and yearly are accounted for. I am his wife. I need to help him although he is the one providing for us. Major expenses are his responsibilities. Minor things I am handling. Usually the minor things are the wants. When it comes to managing the  finances I am responsible for it – savings included.

Take care of yourself.

Some might say that having a good heart is what matters. Yes..they are right!I believe in that too… BUT Physical attraction will always be a factor. No matter how hard they try to say that it does not matter – IT MATTERS. Taking care of yourself is a must… specially if you’re married. My mom told me, that now that I have my own family I have to improve myself more and see to it that the attraction is still there. This advice is not just for wives but for husbands too. Not because you’re already married you’re just going to let go of yourself. Our spouses even without saying a word will always be proud to be seen with someone presentable. So…

Care and Support

Don’t make the person you love feel alone specially when you’re there. Aside from taking care of yourself – you have to nurture your spouse and kids welfare too. I encourage Tags to join different extracurricular activities – chorale is one. I want him to still develop as an individual. Tags is very supportive of me too. When I told him that I want to try baking – he bought me – baking equipment, ingredients and things needed (and not needed) for baking – and whatever it is that I made for him… he eats it too. :) Every morning before going to work Tags prepares a sandwich for me and I really appreciate that gesture.There are tons of ways that we can give care and show support to our spouses. Little things matter.

To each his own. I just shared some details of the things we do for each other to nourish our relationship as husband and wife. Each couple have their own dynamics that works for them and  there’s no right or wrong way.

The main goal is to enrich our marriage and spread the love.

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Staycation and Realizations.

It was not planned like other staycations we had during the past months but this made me realized a lot of things as a mom, as a wife and and as a person. Tags work schedule will be different than the past 6 months and he will not have a weekend off for this month, so he wanted to make this weekend worthwhile.

We booked a hotel in Abu Dhabi – we opt for Sheraton but they are fully booked during our preferred dates after one whole day of searching we booked for Al Raha Beach Hotel. We booked here because based on the reviews they are kid friendly and got a kids club and a nice kiddie pool too. Ellie is with us so this is not a romantic getaway with Tags.

There are lots of things inside my head. Ever since I became a mother I always caught myself overthinking and over analyzing a lot of things. I want to share these with you, not for you to judge me, but for me to check if I am alone in these thoughts.

The days are long but the years are short. I realized that Ellie is no longer a baby. We were watching her a she splashed the pool water… when Tags whispered that there’ll be a day that she will get married and he will cry. True enough, the years are really short. It seems like yesterday we were waiting for her to come out of this world and now she is throwing tantrums!

I wonder what’s the right age to finally accept Ellie’s independence. I know she’s just turning two, but during the whole trip – she is trying to do things on her own. Small things – like drinking in a glass, wearing her shoes, dressing herself, walking alone, trying to swim alone etc. Seriously? She is almost two and I felt like I am not needed anymore. [Clingy mother alert!!!]

I always thought about these moments. Yes… it is true. It dawned upon me that this is what I want. Walking hand in hand with my husband, wondering what to eat, where to go and what to do next. Planning for the future and thinking about what is in store for us. Yes. Whatever we have now is what I wanted and what I kept on praying for. Thank you Lord for the gift of family.

My husband is a blessing – no matter what. Well… I get pissed off and annoyed and irritated. We have our moments. We shared the same negative emotions but we sort things out and we don’t let these bad vibes get the best of us. Tags has always been a great father to Ellie. The way he takes care of her, the way he looks at her with love and joy and the efforts he exerts to provide all of our needs and wants. He is a wonderful husband too, marrying a crazy girl like me is a challenge.I don’t have to explain this further. He is a blessing to me…to us… rain or shine.

Time spent with the people we love = life’s precious moments. I was looking at them from a distance and I realized that, that exact moment is what I am living for. Seeing both my daughter and husband happy and well and filled with love cannot be exchanged for anything. Moments with your love ones will never be replaced. The people that I have in my life now are gifts to me. Whatever I have now I wished and prayed for.

There are a lot more thoughts in between these and a number of subtopics too… but there’s one thing that I don’t have to think or question about…and that is I love being a wife to my husband and a mother to our daughter. I might overthink, overreact and overdo numerous things when it comes to our family but for sure… all mothers do.

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Stay-at-home Dad? Pwede.

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TEAM CHARMING woke up like this!

Brace yourself for some cheesy  post. 

NOPE. He didn’t resign from work.He took a day off. Daddy duties. 

Today I want to say thanks to my dear husband for  a lot of things.

Thank you for filing a leave for today. I know that it is a very busy week for you at work but you chose us. I know how difficult it is to file for personal leave in your office nowadays.

Thank you for waking up on time without waking me up or me to wake you up.

Thank you for bringing mom and Tita Marie to the airport for their exit. I know 4am is way too early for you and driving back and forth safely is not an easy task.

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Ellie loves it when you prepare breakfast for her and when you spend a lot of time with her looking outside the window and/or playing hide and seek plus your  singing and dancing sessions.

Thank you for cooking and cleaning the house and giving Ellie a bath and basically doing everything today. I am so proud and thankful of how I can rely on you for everything.

Thank you for sending me your charming pictures with our Ellie and how you combed her hair and instead of pig tails you copied Kenshin Himura’s hairstyle. I am amused. Like what I said “ang tunay na maganda pogi paminsan minsan”.

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HAIRSTYLE BY DADDY :P

Thank you for always putting me and Ellie first. I know that all of your efforts at work is for our family, future plans and family goals.

Thank you for being supportive and being consistently sweet and loving to us.

Thank you for making us laugh every single day.

I just realized how blessed we are to have you as my husband and Ellie’s dad. Thank you for  being a responsible partner in life.

I know that it is not easy to manage a household. This is just one day and you showed me how much I can rely on you from little to big things. Life is easier with you. Let me rephrase that..you make life easier for us.

Thank you.

Iloveyou.

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My raging emotions and date night.

Every once in a while my hubby and I we go out for movies and/or dinner. Just the two of us. During these rare moments, we talk about how things change for us since we started dating. Happy days of singledom and the perks of married life.

Yesterday, while planning for our date night something happened and made me irritated. I know it’s just a little thing and I could have let it go, but I didn’t. I told him what are my issues and why I had that episode and why I felt what I feel. Take note of the “I”. It’s all about me and my raging emotions.

Honestly, as much as I want to – I really don’t want to argue. Last night, I snapped out of it. Just like that. I cannot accept the explanation he gave me over what we are arguing about. There are times in our relationships that we tend to be unforgiving. When instead of being loving and kind, we opt to lash out.Instead of being understanding, we were consumed by our negative emotions. Human nature. We want to hurt rather than communicate and usually it is already too late to realize the damage done.I learned my lesson when I was still young and dating. I am the type of person who faces issues head-on. If I have a problem with you I will drag you to the battlefield. Which damaged a lot of relationships that I had. I am not really the forgiving type (dark times of my life). So I learned to choose my battles. I don’t want to argue I don’t want to damage my relationship again. Right now I choose to brushed off tiny issues and I try to be understanding.

I really don’t like the feeling after this kind of situation. It’s a pain in the heart and back. Moments like this I give myself a time-out. 10-15 minutes to clear my head and my heart. After I digested the words I let out, I sent him a message and told him that I understand his point. It’s just that there are other factors that affected me, hence, my reaction.

Have you experience moments like these in your married life? Little issues that were blown into huge proportions? How did you handle it? What did you do to resolve the problem?

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joyeux anniversaire mon amour

Days and years with you will always be happy. Even if we are fighting. Even if we constantly have misunderstandings. Even if we are silent or cranky. Even if we don’t have money and not enough sleep. Our days we’ll always be ours – like how we conquer every day with dance steps. Or with a cup of coffee and laughter or a bottle of beer and a bag of nacho chips.

Our story has its twists but it is one for the books. I am thankful to have you as my partner in life and thank you for understanding that I can go psycho most of the time. Thank you for believing that I can still do good things and for appreciating my cooking and baking and (out of the blue) dance moves that’s beyond my control. You’re a good dad to Ellie and I admire you on how you take care of us and put us first before anything else.

Years with you …and challenges are still raining upon us – but it is moulding us to be better. A better husband. A better wife. Better parents. Things may not always go the way we imagined it to be but it will, eventually,hopefully. We have days ahead of us – I am not sure if they will be good or bad – but I will be here… for us.. no matter what.

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Joyeux anniversaire mon amour!

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