Every once in a while my hubby and I we go out for movies and/or dinner. Just the two of us. During these rare moments, we talk about how things change for us since we started dating. Happy days of singledom and the perks of married life.
Yesterday, while planning for our date night something happened and made me irritated. I know it’s just a little thing and I could have let it go, but I didn’t. I told him what are my issues and why I had that episode and why I felt what I feel. Take note of the “I”. It’s all about me and my raging emotions.
Honestly, as much as I want to – I really don’t want to argue. Last night, I snapped out of it. Just like that. I cannot accept the explanation he gave me over what we are arguing about. There are times in our relationships that we tend to be unforgiving. When instead of being loving and kind, we opt to lash out.Instead of being understanding, we were consumed by our negative emotions. Human nature. We want to hurt rather than communicate and usually it is already too late to realize the damage done.I learned my lesson when I was still young and dating. I am the type of person who faces issues head-on. If I have a problem with you I will drag you to the battlefield. Which damaged a lot of relationships that I had. I am not really the forgiving type (dark times of my life). So I learned to choose my battles. I don’t want to argue I don’t want to damage my relationship again. Right now I choose to brushed off tiny issues and I try to be understanding.
I really don’t like the feeling after this kind of situation. It’s a pain in the heart and back. Moments like this I give myself a time-out. 10-15 minutes to clear my head and my heart. After I digested the words I let out, I sent him a message and told him that I understand his point. It’s just that there are other factors that affected me, hence, my reaction.
Have you experience moments like these in your married life? Little issues that were blown into huge proportions? How did you handle it? What did you do to resolve the problem?
I was browsing Pinterest and I came upon this image. I saved and sent it to my husband. We are still a young couple (husband and wife) even if we are together for years already. Our relationship needs a lot more polishing, compromises, and deeper understanding. We are two different individuals and sometimes the differences take over and we argue. Some of the tips listed here are easy to say than done. I am guilty. It’s not easy being with me that’s why I honor my husband for bearing with my tantrums and eye-rolling moments.
Before I married Tags, I really have a hard time forgiving. One of my personal struggles. This is my favorite flaw like holding grudges became my forte. Then I realized that when it comes to marriage holding on to something bad against your spouse is a no-no.That’s why I always open my heart and my mind when it comes to petty fights and arguments. Apologizing is another topic. When we are still dating he told me that I don’t know how to say SORRY. Like I will die if I utter the word. BUT marriage and a motherhood changed me. It’s a change I’ve decided myself. I know that my marriage will not work if I keep my old ways. I don’t want to have a family where arguments and fighting are part of the daily routine.
This is about maintaining good communication with your spouse and keeping your individuality. Remember that a healthy relationship is growing together with your partner. You cannot just be stuck on what you are 10 years ago or before you met your husband/wife. Lack of growth can create a stagnant relationship and a stagnant relationship is a dead-end relationship.
Take your time to read and think about the stuff written here.
In the beginning of our relationship – we discussed some “matters” regarding what we have. We have lots of differences and these “differences” are not just simple things. We know that sooner or later “these” will be an issue for us and can be, if not resolved, will be the root of our break-up. Thank God that we are still happily counting the days as mr. and mrs.
He is the sweet one. Flowers. Letters. Unexpected trips. Coffee dates. Gifts. Surprise lunch or dinner. After getting married I never expected him to still be his sweet self. I thought that flowers will eventually stop and letters will no longer be in sight. But I was wrong. It didn’t stop – and it got better too.
Last night, I was trying to put Ellie to sleep (she’s a bit cranky because of her teething) and I was so sleepy, Tags came home with a bunch of red roses and chocolates. It was like a scene in the movies where the guy enters the room carrying a bouquet of flowers… smiling. I was speechless for a minute and just gave him a “kilig” smile. It was 12mn.
Yes. He did it again.
I really appreciate the fact that, for the months and years that we are together my better-half never missed a single special day in our family calendar.
“The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make–not just on your wedding day, but over and over again–and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.”
– Barbara de Angelis
My hubby told me that I am not a cry-baby and that I have this strong personality that even dysmenorrhea is afraid of me (yes..he said this) and not even onions can make me shed a tear(he really said this). Well if that’s what he thinks of me, let him be. But if it’s (really) true then I am changed person now. On the day I gave birth to our daughter – I know that somewhere within me a part of me melted like chocolate on a hot pavement.
Being a mom gave me a different perspective about life. As a first timer in this complex field of motherhood I want to give a pat-in-the-back, a very warm hug, a toast and a one whole year vacation in the Caribbean for all mothers! Hands-up! I know now why my mother was so strict and why she was so concern even with the tiny of the tiniest details about me and my siblings when we were kids(well up to now). Being a mother is like being strong and weak at the same time – a complicated emotion loaded with different feels.
Once a baby is born a mother is born too. One notch higher.Level-up. Achievement unlocked. Motherhood is challenging and life-changing. I am blessed to take care of a child whose whole being depends on me (us.let us include my hubby too). I read a lot of articles about baby care. I bought lotions and creams which are good for baby skin. I often tell them that it’s better to splurge on stuff that will make her healthy inside and out instead of spending the budget on doctor’s bill and medicines. Right now I am into baby food recipes, songs and books. I still breastfeed her and even bought mother’s milk tea even though I am not a tea drinker just to have more milk.
Reading stories, playtime, counting kisses and cuddles are just few of the many activities that I make sure I will never miss. I watched some videos and read notes regarding baby massage which are very helpful. Ellie time is Ellie time. I make sure that we have uninterrupted mom and daughter time. Well cuddled babies have stronger immune system and touch therapy in my opinion an essential part of health and healing based on improvement of circulation, muscle function and stress reduction, just to name a few. It’s my way of making her feel my love for her.
I am a mom for about six months now and things are getting tougher as the days go by but I am thankful that I have my supportive hubby by my side and my whole family as well. And with so many hands ready to help everything is easier.
This journey will never end because being a mother is for eternity.