I got 4 hours and it will never be enough.

I am a working mom. My work is an hour away from our house.  I am working from 9-6pm Sunday to Thursday. I will arrive around 730pm or 8pm. I only have 4 hours  maximum to spend with Ellie. But I don’t get to spend a lot of time with her – sometimes I am so tired that I also put her to bed early – sometimes she is also sleepy that she is giving me cues to put her to bed.

As a working mom – this is one of my frustrations, that I don’t have much time to spend with her during weekdays.

Weekends are different. Thursday night… if we are not out with her, we are just at home playing, reading books, walking and dancing and laughing. Crying is also part of it. Right now, I am looking forward to my baking sessions and baking with Ellie in the future. I need to load up myself with mother -daughter bonding activities. Creating a lot of memories with her is one of my goals. I want her to be filled with moments that she can also share with others in the future.

I am working mom. I choose to be one – to help my husband raise the family that we want. In every decision, there will always be consequences. In time, I know, that I will be a full-time hands-on mommy. It will be a major adjustment on my part but motherhood entails a lot of sacrifices.

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Happy 14th month Ellie! :)

There’s an unexplainable joy in being a mother. Those little kisses and sweet random hugs from Ellie completes my (our) day.Now that she is starting to learn more things and do more stuff I cannot contain THAT feeling.

I used to check out other babies and their milestones just to triple check if Ellie is also doing the same or if she’s doing better. I know it’s not right to compare but I cannot help it. I know that I am not the only one guilty of this. As a mother, I have my own set of worries and victories – some of them are what other parents have… but most of them are our achievements as parents and as a family.

Today is her 14th month. Aside from walking around the house and climbing here and there and exploring whatever her hands touches, Ellie is also interested in books, musical instruments, and her bunny stuff toy (aka dirty bunny). She can now say – A – B – C. And refers to everyone as MAMA. It’s cute how she looks at me and babble, trying her best to communicate. Sorry, it’s not cute – it is priceless. I know that sooner or later she will no longer do that. Give this to me..let me savor this. :)

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Seeing our little princess development from day one and how she changed from a fragile baby to a walking doll 14 months later is one of my many victories.I know that soon enough I’ll be posting more about her achievements and my rants and worries and success as a parent.

What’s your favorite moment with your kid? :)

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Mommy thoughts today.

The weekend is over. Here I am sitting in my office cubicle and thinking about the weekend that was. I woke up at 530AM last Saturday. I woke up sad and teary because I thought it was Sunday. I find myself amusing most of the time. I sent a message to my husband and told him about what happened.

I read the whole week about toddler nutrition. I got paranoid and told my husband that I need to give Ellie more vegetables and fruits. Check her calorie intake and even make sure that she is given the right amount as indicated by the FOOD PYRAMID. I was even tempted to go ORGANIC ( I have nothing bad to say about Organic lovers it’s just that it is not for me). I went to the grocery and bought beetroot, oats, banana, wheat bread, yogurt. That was my weekend plan  – work on her meals. But I will save this meal stuff for another post. 

I spent the whole day taking care of our toddler who amazingly wants to walk on her own – but cannot. There are many failed attempts and I find it funny. Before we wanted her to crawl. We did everything to make her. And when she finally crawled we wanted her to stop. And now, the walking part.

Ellie now knows how to go down on the sofa and our bed. There are mini heart attacks every time. I wonder what will happen to me when she becomes a teenager. Motherhood – I always painted it in pastel colors – smooth, light and breezy. Now that she is starting to bump her head on corners, get bruises and scratches I am starting to think twice. This is the real thing now. Surviving every single day making sure that Ellie will survive her day too.

I have my weaknesses as a mom, I am not perfect and definitely not great. Motherhood is not what I picture it is. It is not a milk or diaper commercial. It is messy. The milk will spill and Ellie will keep on moving while I change her diaper, unlike those TVCs where the mom is smiling and the baby smiling back while they were dressing her etc. Motherhood is not a slideshow of picture perfect moments. It is scary, hard, beautiful, miraculous and frustrating all at the same time. A shower of emotions here and there.

My journey to motherhood is my story with my daughter. I am weak and imperfect. I know I am not the first mother who feel overwhelmed  and challenged but reality bites and you can never bite it back. I just need to push a bit more to become a better wife, better mom and a better woman. Not because the society said so but because that’s what I wanted.

Venturing out.

My hubby and I were talking about making some freelance work / business / investment. Anything that can help us save for the rainy days.. anything that can give us additional moolah… anything that can bring us to financial freedom :) Earning money is hard work. But we cannot just sit here and wait for our salaries forever. We have needs to fulfill and WANTS to satisfy.

We are looking at different businesses that we can venture out and start another adventure again. Creating a business is a risk. It will take years before you can actually see if it is working or not. But if we want something to happen we really have to get over the fear of failures and regrets.

We want to have something that we both like – cameras and coffee.

Here are some of the businesses that we are looking at :

  1. Coffee + Bakeshop
  2. Events Management
  3. Restaurant

We don’t want to be employees forever although we are thankful for the JOBS and COMPANIES that we have now. We even consider doing both at the same time :) Truth is : It’s all about the money.

So if you have any ideas on how we can start working on this plan(s) let us know. We need a bit more of information, ideas and positivity too!

Share some love :)

Kawa-i-aparat

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Being a working mom.

I don’t have enough creativity today so pardon the title of this post. I just uploaded the pictures of the celebration we had last July 29 and I am still working on the video highlights of the party.

Being a working mom has its perks and downtimes. Sometimes I really have this feeling that I just to stay with Ellie at home. Play all day. Sleep. Eat.Do toddler stuff. Practice her walking and a lot more. But I cannot.  The good thing about being a working mom is that I was able to help my husband when it comes to finances and we can give Ellie what she needs and what she wants. I know some might say that time is the best gift that we can give our kids. I agree to that. That’s why I make sure that I make up for the time that I am not there. Weekends. Special occasions. Days off. I even save some of my work leaves so that I can take a time off whenever she needs me.

When I was still on my maternity leave – I was able to be there for her 24/7. I monitored everything and made sure that I was doing things according to plan. Breastfed her. And made sure that I have enough stash before I leave her. Imagine I need to produce a stash more than enough for a month. I felt like a cow but still I will do it again for my child. Sacrifice is synonymous to motherhood. I choose to be a mother so I need to give up stuff that will hinder me in becoming a good mom to Ellie.

Motherhood. It changed me in ways I cannot count. But it is fun and I will not trade it for anything else.

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